instead of beginning to write my proposal for darkroom i am going to sit here and bitch and moan that i am lonely. i miss having a crush on someone. i think sometimes i try and convince myself that i like someone because it's fun. i like that exciting feeling of seeing someone you really like.
i have been thinking a lot about what i really want/need in a relationship. the more i think about it the more i realize that the past two almost relationships would have kept me unsatisfied. possibly not the first one but most definitely the second.
i just want a super cute girl/boy who's going to make me laugh and cuddle with me. someone who's going to deal with my ridiculous obsessions and is at my sarcastic level. but basically if katherine moennig/oliver sykes could decide i exist and leave their significant others to come live in my room with me i would have no complaints. at allllll.
yeah that's what should happen. forget everything else i said i just want people i will never meet and never have a relationship with. oh that sounds just like my real life relationships also. maybe im a masochist. maybe i enjoy emotional turmoil. mehhh something to continue to think about. obviously this is always on my mind.
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